Values and Ties
by MagicHalo
Summary: A story that tells with a young boy that treasures a tie of relationship that could easily break after his thoughts. When he finds out, he is left to burn and feel pain in an eternal period. An AU based on a True Story. Shane/Nate Slash
1. The Day that Ended Me

_If there is anyone who is fans of my work and is reading this, wow thanks for the support XP_

_Anyone new to my newfound story, I had a JB obsession lately so i wrote this story in a Camp Rock fic cuz i like the movie..and the songs XD_

_Anyways, This is a story based on a true event but its not entirely true..just about half or so. Enjoy =D  
_

_The Day That Ended Me_

It all began with my heart, my hope and my humanity...shattered into shards and scattered into the long plain in which I cannot recover. It was too much for me and I couldn't take it anymore. It drove me to the edge or to lose myself in the process. This is a story of me and how I couldn't take it anymore. My name is Shane Grey and this is me and how I valued the tie between friendship but broke into a separation. I lost it all that day.

–

It all started with a party. Caitlyn wanted a get together before the time passed until school began its toll. My friends, Nate and Jason weren't able to make it. They had plans to be away and they couldn't be here. So basically, there was also Mitchie, Tess, Ella, Peggy, Andy, Barron and Lola, not to mention Caitlyn's older sister, Meg. We were under the bright sunshine sitting on her trampoline and we played the classic get together game: Truth or Dare.

"Okay, I wanna pick." Mitchie announced, boredom sensed on her breath.

"'Kay, I dare you to go on a hike." Caitlyn was giving the same bored response.

"A hike? To where?"

"I dunno, go somewhere."

"Yeah sure, I'll walk home and back." Her house was basically a few blocks away

"Ugh, don't bother. Let's just move on. Shane, Truth or Dare?" The question bore into me as I just tried to enjoy the time together.

"Truth. So tired of a dare."

"Okay," the always asked question was thrown around, "Who do you like?"

"I don't like anyone. I'm not ready," My response got all groans from the rest of the crew.

"C'mon, you can't be serious. There must be someone who can interest the great Shane Grey." My thoughts concluded, 'Should I tell them. Nah, they won't believe me.'

"Okay fine, since you think its so boring and typical, yes there is someone that I like." Small gasps came from the crowd.

"Ooh, so who is it already?" Tess curiously questioned and began pulling out her phone, calling the girls that actually were able to take the chance to be with him.

"I ain't tell you." I pushed them away before they broke into my thought.

"Aw, c'mon give a clue" more sounds were made as if I was being cross examined.

"Ooh, I know. Its that girl that sits next to you during attendance. That cute one." I had 'yeah, right' pass my comprehension of the two of us together. It was most likely the most possible couple around. Ha ha, yeah right.

"I ain't saying."

"C'mon please? Just for us? It won't leave this party, we promise." They tried putting sweetness into their tones. The more they did it, It became more annoying. So, I made the decision.

"Okay. It's not that I won't tell you, its that...there's this complication."

"What? What's the matter" Caitlyn asked.

"I...I..." I began to hinder the answer and the confirmation with stutters.

"I'm...a...bit..." They all leaned in to hear what I had to say.

"a bit...bi." The word passed my lips with such emotion. Embarrassed, Scared, Fear, too many to number. Everyone eyed me with suspicion as they can't believe their ears from my news.

"So, Shane.." Mitchie began, "You like a boy?" My face became red enough to begin to tear but was brave enough not to.

"Yes okay...I like some boy." I began to avoid the stares placed on me.

"Aw, I think that's sweet." Meg commented.

"Shane, but how?" Ella had asked.

"Well..." I had to give some kind of sap story to cover it. What happened was, this relationship was something I cherished, something I wouldn't want taken away, torn or traded for anything. It gave me reason.

"Well, who is it?" That was the next important question that bore into me.

"Like I said, I ain't gonna say." I began denying any plea and beg that came. This went on for a while. The question still lingering in my thoughts. Should I tell them? Maybe. I already came this far.

"Hey Shane, I know it must be hard but you can always come to me during your hardship. Don't be afraid. No one is judging." Meg tried to comfort me as I had walked away from them all.

"Okay, I want to tell you. Just because it's you that you don't impact my life much or know them well." Meg assured this and I began to make out the name.

"He...is..."

--

_So, how did i do? Did it bore you? did it place you to the edge? any kind of criticism would be well apreciated and if you can help contribute to this story cuz note: it is based on true scenario_

_Shane would appreciate it lol so R&R ty =D  
_


	2. The Next Step Forward

_Hey. If there is anyone reading this, then I'm glad that there is someone interested. I was beginning to worry if it was story-worthy. Anyways if you are reading, thanks for your support. Sorry for the shortage or lack of interest within the story, i'm not exactly a good literary person =S Enjoy_

_The Next Step Forward_

The party resumes as normal, many still query about me and my new preference. I admit, I'm not entirely proud right now. I feel sick, but I feel relieved. I feel teary but they have a glimpse of happiness within its transparency. Did I say it to accept it, or did I do it to phase it out. I'm just glad it was only Meg that I told. Secrets last long, at least I tell myself. I see her talking to the crowd.

"Hey, man." A couple of the guys sit next to me. Probably out of pity.

"We just wanted you to know, we don't matter what you may think, but know that we won't change our minds about you. You're still the cool dude we all know and love." Barron says as they try to cheer me up.

"Thanks." I gave a half smile as they walked back to the crowd. I give and follow them too.

"Okay, there's something I don't get. Overall, are you saying you're gay?"

"No, its not that." I deny the insinuation labeled on me, "It's just.." I explain in a way that words cannot seem to say.

"I feel like I need to be with someone that's making me hold my breath when I see them, that I feel butterflies arrive when we talk, that I want to be with them and hold them, or them hold me in times of need. Besides that, I'm still searching for a girl. The girl. Or rather the someone."

"So you tell Meg, but not us?" Tess begins to rant.

"Well it's not like she'll tell. She doesn't gossip for the kick. She's beyond that." She smiles proud as they all seem slightly offended.

"I find it hard to believe that you would think I stoop low as to gossip for the sake of it." _You_ find it hard to believe?

"Geez, why won't you tell us. What happens at this party, stays at this party." Mitchie begins to beg too.

Now they're all over me. The thin line begins to lose strength as I feel myself giving in. I've decided. Should this heart ache further as I walk away from the truth? However, I feel less strongly for this. Now I'm confusing myself.

–

The sun moves across the blue sky to shade it a little lighter. The shadows begin to grow that provides a cooler atmosphere. We all crowd on a patch of grass, partly shone by sun. I sit in the circle we made and kept myself covered within my crossed leg and arm cradle. We talk a bit, hopefully until we feel off topic.

"Hm," Mitchie's phone vibrates, from a text. "Darn, my mother's calling me back home to get ready for this party."

"You haven't stayed for long. Just a bit longer." Caitlyn pleads. They were close enough to say that a lengthy time was only a small occurrence.

"Okay. But my mum can be impatient and," She plans, "I'll leave, once Shane admits who he's falling for." My face turns scarlet as I felt the heat rise to my pale cheeks.

"Ooh, yes let's get him that way." Now they're in full focus. I bring myself closer to say something to them.

"Okay, I'll give you a clue. Just so you can leave my case alone."

"Okay. So what is it?"

"Well, it's someone from our school, and in our year." Small peeps of gasps were spread as Caitlyn jumped from her spot to grab the school photo. Now they're narrowing the candidates.

"Hey," Mitchie asks me, "tell me, please. You can trust me. I need to go but I wanna stay." Now I feel kinda guilty but I kept on saying 'no'. Now we're all looking at the year photo, remembering past memories and laughing at the mishaps.

"Ooh, is it Brock? Joseph? Nick? Zack? Justin?" Ella is throwing names at me as I say no to every name thrown. It goes on and on until I take it no more.

"Alright fine. If you really want to know," My heart increases speed, I feel nervous under the paralyzing gazes fixed on me, fumbling with the grass on the ground, as I build up the strength to say, "Meg, you can tell them."

"Are you sure?" I nodded. I begin to feel relieved as I deny that their name won't pass my lips out of conformation.

"Okay. Well people, it's N..."

--

_So, how was it? Review plz and thx =D_


	3. To be close, Yet so Far

To be close, Yet so Far

The day rolled through my mind like a long lasting memory I wish to forget, but yet it stuck there like glue. I felt strong enough to accept it, that its there and true. No tear is yet to shed because of this. Admitted to all my friends. I felt embarrassed, and scared as I shiver under the nervousness I was feeling. Fortunately, I was at home so I could relax under the embrace that is my home.

I hopped onto my computer and signed into my account on the chat room trend. It becomes a ritual to me. I'm not much of an outside person because deep down, I'm as shy as a child, to hide behind my parents leg and avoid all eye contact. But, at the very least I know the people here.

-Natey- has sent a message

The name is my best friend, Nate. And well, If you probably don't know, he's um...the person in my position that shall not be mentioned. He has been my best friend since I had moved schools to here. We have an odd relationship to say the least but it's something I learned to treasure close to me. But I wouldn't know where to start if I begin to describe how weird both of us are.

'Hey there =)'

'Hey man, where have u been? Even Jase didn't show up'

'Yeah, sorry dude, I had to go fishing with my dad.'

'Oh k' I'm glad he didn't show up.

'Did u catch anything?'

'I caught some fish, bout 10 inches. Then, I went swimming in the ocean. In the middle that is.'

'Sounds refreshing'

'It was, but not now it's not. I ended up getting sick.'

'Ha ha, how?'

'Cold, dude. Cold'

I smiled, 'Think before you act, man'

'I will now. Eurgh I sneezed all over'

'Gross dude.'

'At least it's not all over ya.'

A smirk with some teeth. 'How bout I come over tomorrow to take care of ya?'

'Sure. Holidays are getting boring now.'

Meggy1509 has sent a message. After the party, Meg and I have been getting close, and she is real supportive of me. She bugs me to go for it, but I can't. I just can't. At least not now, but when the time is right.

'How's it going?'

'I was just talking to him. Just as friends that is'

'Cute :) Oh, well a step closer I say'

'Don't expect the wrong thing'

'I'm not, I'm expecting a Happily ever after lol'

'Rolls eyes'

'I'm just kidding :P'

'Guess that was kinda funny'

'But serious, you need to tell him.'

'But I can't...At least not until the right time'

'Does he know about you?'

'Nope. I plan not to'

'Aw, so sad Shane you need to let it free. It hurts to keep it in, no?'

'I know, but it hurts more to think of the real answer' My heart begins to race. The stimulating conversation is giving me the shivers. It's a real case close to me so I feel this way.

'Is he...y'know?'

'Nope, he's straight as a ruler' Such a great simile.

'I guess don't tell him.'

'I'm not.' Sigh. Well, I can never hope for anything I cannot get. I fantasize it true, and yet when I face reality, it's silent and disturbing. So, I hope my secret remains secret for as long as I can keep it in. It eats away at me but I cannot fight it.

Anyways, I move on life and waiting for tomorrow to meet with Nate.


	4. The Day to Ourselves

_The Day to Ourselves_

A new day, it feels like a new slate. It feels good to feel clear of busy and messed up thoughts in one time or another. I awoke and smiled sheepishly at the morning sun. It looks like a good day today. I was lazily lying in bed and collectively gathering my day plan today. The warm hearted Summer sun resonated through my room and it made me all the more lazy. But I had to get out of this bed sooner or later. I got up and made my way down to the living room to watch some shows.

Time slipped unnoticeable and I prepared myself for the day ahead. I had planned to go to Nate's house, because he caught the cold, swimming where the fish swam, literally. I promised I would take care of him. It must suck to get sick during the holidays, so if he's miserable, I might as well let him make the most of anything. I went upstairs to change into something suitable. I grabbed all my preparations then left to Nate's.

–

"Oh Hey, Shane. How are you today?" Nate's mom is a really nice person once you get to know her. She's cool about a lot of stuff but I hope she is about mine.

"I'm great, Mrs Black. How is Nate?"

"Sick as a dog. It's terrible."

"I hear ya. I came here to take him off your hands."

"Thank you. I have some errands to do today, so if you don't mind, you two will be alone so take care"

"No problem," I waved her off and made my way into Nate's room. I lightly grazed my knuckles on the white door and knocked. No response, so I slightly opened the door ajar. It was safe. I'm pretty sure snores were a sure sign it was okay. I pulled up the covers over his limp, freezing body. I took a look at his sleeping face. So many emotions stirred, I couldn't keep myself from having them surround my thoughts. I took a seat at his desk chair and played on his computer for a while.

–

Nate woke up with a small yawn I could detect.

"Morning, Bed head. How ya feeling?"

"Nate?" _Yawn._ "What are you doing here?"

"It's half past 1 Nate." I pointed to his bedside clock.

"Whoa, am I tired. Gotta be honest, waking up to the sight of you was a scare."

"I am offended." I mocked at him with sarcasm, "As I recall, you asked me to come here."

"Yeah, well I must've been drowsy from all those pills. Don't let drugs do the talking. That's a life lesson" We both swapped deep stares, before we broke into smiles and fits of laughter. Oh, how I wish those kinds of moments would last.

"I'm cold. I thought it would be over by morning."

"You're really sick, sorry I can't help." I sat down next to him on the bed and wrapped an arm around him.

"Well, can you at least go downstairs and grab me my pills?"

"Sure, just wait here," I gave a squeeze before breaking my hold and hopped off the bed. I ran down and grabbed the bottle, and a glass of water before heading upstairs. I popped the capped off and grabbed two and placed them next to the glass of water set on the top of the bedside drawer.

"Mm, too lazy to get up. Can you feed me?" I chuckled and popped them within his mouth and lifted his backside to get him to drink the glass of water. It went down without a big spill, while he was well co-operative. I laid him back down and lied next to him, watching him doze off while faint music of his play list was being played from the computer.

–

I woke up, dramatically realizing I had fallen asleep. Not so much about sleeping while being a carer, or sleeping in a single bed with another person, but the fact that Nate was close. I mean really close. I saw his lips and his quick breaths on my tongue, his scent lingered through my area, and also I felt Nate's arm around my waist. I was frightened. No, not frightened. I tried to slip my way from under his covers, but truth be it, that boy had a monkey death grip, even when he was asleep. He pulled me into a bone crushing hug that- choke-- that-- can't- breathe.

"N-Nate, I-I can't- choke- can't- brea--"No response.

"NATE!"

"Whoa!" "Aagh" He woke up startled, he loosened his grip and flinched, throwing me onto the floor.

"Heads up, your hugs hurt." I wrapped my arm around the constricted area.

"He he, sorry about that," He shrugged it off with a small smile.

"Well, a hug is a sign of affection," I teased, and was responded with heat rising into his cheeks. I admit it was adorable.

"I'm hungry." Nate whined and placed a hand on his stomach.

"Yeah, me too. Let's go buy something, Your mom left some money. Then, we can do whatever."

"Sounds good to me"

–

Here we are, walking to the nearby food shop to get some greasy food in our tummies. The gentle breezes are messing my hair style and making Nate's all out of control.

"Are you sure you're not cold?"

"I'm fine" _Achoo! _"Hm, maybe just a bit,"

"Here" I took off my striped scarf and wrapped it around his neck. I placed an arm around him and held him close to me. He snuggled close into my warmth and we walked slowly.

"Thanks," He smiled sweetly and sniffled under the cold air.

"What do ya say to some video games, after we finish eating."

"Sounds like a plan."

–

Here we sat, with full bellies and groaning at the satisfaction that is food. We didn't talk much, just listened to the TV drone on and on, waiting for that feeling to leave.

"Here, let's play Brawl." Nate handed me the two controllers and began the set up.

"I'm so gonna kick your ass." I posed my ego.

"You're looking at pure professional here." And so did he. Bigger one, I might add. We played for hours on end, until it began to get out of hand. I shoved, he pushed. I nudged, he leaned. It was a midst of sabotage for the better of title. The title that was Smash King.

"Hey, you owe me for that life."

"Nu uh, I so whooped ya."

"Nah, I did," I grabbed onto his wrists. He fidgeted, trying to break free. We were laughing crazily at our little war. We tumbled back, Nate with his back on the hardwood floor.

"I'll show ya," I remember my torture tactics. He he, Evil. Well, not so evil but it was torture. I became the tickle monster! Mwa ha ha. It was something I did to him when we were little.

"Aha, st- sto- Shane, stop it." He managed to say between bellows of chuckles. I just smiled as I dominated. The game didn't matter. It was about this moment. The tie I had to Nate. But then, He didn't know. And to top it off, look at the position. I broke off from over him and laughed my way off. It was something I did from time to time.

"Oh, we haven't changed a bit." He said from recovery.

"Yeah, I guess we haven't." I playfully smiled and he opened his eyes and saw deep into mine. It was nice, but it was awkward. A friendly awkwardness that is. It's times like these that I begin to appreciate anything and everything. But moments don't last forever, unfortunately.

"I'm home. Natey, are you feeling better?" Mrs Black announced carrying a bag of groceries.

"I'm good mom," We went and greeted her upon arrival.

"Here, let me help you," I took the bag, she appreciated it, and took the time to inspect Nate.

"Well, your fever has toned down. How about some soup?"

"Thanks, mom." He grinned lopsidedly.

"Well, I guess I should get going. Thanks again, Mrs Black."

"Thank you for taking care of Nate."

"I'll see you later then, okay?" I walked through the door and waved behind me as I saw Nate buy the doorway, waving back. Honestly, that boy is the only thing to leave a smile on my face.


	5. The First Steps

_The First Steps_

It was a few days before we had to go back to school. I was so not looking forward to it. But, I get through it because we have a tradition. Nate, Jason and I would have a sleepover just to get wasted and forget troubles. I was looking forward towards it, because it was at my place. I prepared and got everything ready to stay up until the wee hours of the twilit night.

"All set,.." Everything is done, and in time to have Jase and Nate at the door. Proper etiquette only to have it ruined by our sloth likeness.

–

The new day has ticked and we are huddled in a circle, with blankets over our laps. It was sure eventful for one night. Now it's the calm after the storm. We just sat there talking and improvised a spin the bottle. It was crazy, the room filled with our laughter mixed with the darkness and the stars vanishing until the black turned into a shaded navy blue. The low dim light of the TV created the mood.

"Alright, who's next," Nate said as he spun it slowly. It became clear who it was going to land on. I sighed as it pointed in my direction.

"Okay, What is the weirdest thing you have ever done?" This version included a question asked by the pointed and everyone had to input an answer.

"I tried to fly with all my bird friends." Jason gave a half cheery, wide grin, looking innocent as possible.

"Uh huh, and how did that go?"

"I flew...a few centimeters off ground"

"Must be a proud achievement for you. Now, Shane, what's yours?"

"Hmm...I can't think of anything." I wasn't a very exciting person. But there were a few things now and then.

"How about the time where we made you drink that cup of tea with all that sugar and salt and pepper at camp."Nate pointed out.

"Ooh, and there was soap too."

"And you chucked the wrapper in it too."

"And coffee, and some lollies, and tape."

"Okay, I get the point, it was gross. Ugh, just thinking about it again just makes me wanna throw up."

"Point away from me, and onto Jason."

"Hey, I don't want my blankie covered in Shane barf."

"You still call it blankie? Do you want your warm milk too?"

"Why don't you just go take a hike."

"At least I'm bothered to get up, fatty."

"Guys..." I tried to end the feud but to no avail...

"At least I don't order 2 sets of burgers at the drive thru,"

"I bought it for Shane when he was sick that one time."

"Try telling that to the lady behind the counter."

"Guys..."

"At least I know how to talk to a lady,"

"I talk to girls,"

"Your mother doesn't count,"

"Guys!.."

"At least I have a mother, you orphan child."

"At least I was raised right."

"GUYS!!" I covered my mouth in hopes that my parents didn't hear that. Whoops.

"Sorry," they said in whispers, simultaneously.

"Can we just move on," I spun the bottle in a rage like fashion. It spun fast and we were crowding it, awaiting it's deceleration. It spun it's way past me and landed on Jason. Oh boy, knowing him...

"I got one. What is your deepest, darkest secret?" A sore spot there. How do I explain this one. Darn, why do I have such an honest nature. But here it goes. I'm ready to tell. Maybe it is how I felt, or it's the drowsiness from the lack of sleep. But I'll take it one step at a time.

"My secret is," Nate began and he thought. Thought deeply. "I...did it."

"Huh?"

"I did it. That's my secret." What does he mean, 'he did it?' Does he mean 'it'?

"No way, what a lie. How you'd be able just to get in the sack already contradicted it." Jason joked and got a stuck out tongue in response.

"Okay, my secret is that I still watch Share bears." Leave it to Nate to snicker at that.

"Nice one Jase, it's not so hard to believe that." Reverse position of past response: Nate respond, Jason stick out.

"So, Shane, how about you? What's yours?" All eyes on me, all four. My heart beat faster, feeling sweat appear, feeling hot under the weather. Oh no, what do I do? Too much pressure. Okay okay, just breathe. In, and out.

"Okay, you want to know what," I kept my head at an angle below, avoiding all eye contact, "well, there is this person that I like. That's my secret." I just said what came. At least it was a cover up.

"Oh no, Shane you have to tell us now."

"No no, it's time for sleep. Good Night."

"NO, we need to know." They said in unison. Oh dang, here comes the badger.

"Shane, Shane, tell us." Poke, poke from Jason, Shake Shake from Nate. Here and there all the time is 'tell us, tell us.' Okay so I seem to exaggerate at all the time but you get the idea.

"Okay look, leave me alone, I'll tell." Yep, that stopped them. Of course now I have to tell or I'll be begging for mercy soon enough. I know what the duo is capable of.

"Well, it's...complicated. See there's another secret," Tuned in, all eyes gazing on me. I feel in the spotlight, "you see, I'm...kinda bi."

"Huh?" That left them scratching their heads. I looked away.

"What was that, Shane? I didn't hear it correctly."

"I said, I'm bi okay. You happy?" Drum roll for three seconds and then....

"BWAHAHAHAHA.." Huh? They're...laughing. They're actually laughing. What's so funny. HEY, I'm asking you here!

"Oh, good one Shane," Nate finally got to escape under the blanket of laughter, wiping that hard chuckling tear that came, "That's so funny. I'm bi- ha ha ha," They were loud, heck louder that me and I didn't think that was possible.

"Oi guys, shut up. Its 4 in the morning."

"Okay okay, thanks for the laugh. I'm so tired now. My stomach's going to hurt in the morning." Nate just crawled into his blanket and just laid there, but I could hear that. More laughter.

"Good night." Jason seemed to take it...relatively well I assume. At any rate, I just slept there too. Too troubled about what was so funny? Okay, I get that it may seem like a joke, but every joke has a kernel of truth. No matter how far from reality it may be.

How do I explain this one?


	6. Truth Be Told, but Not By I

_Truth Be Told, but Not By I_

Time to go back to school, oh joy of all times how school means to us. By the way, surprisingly sarcasm isn't a native tongue to me, but it's not a difficult language. If one in two could learn it, then why do we speak? By our teenage standards, no one can tell between seriousness and kidding. Anyways, sorry to get off track there, I like to soliloquize. I dressed in good attire, made myself smell nice, all the preparations just for the first day of school. But why you might ask. Hmm, poor self esteem you might say. And you wonder why my hair is ravenous. Messy and charcoal black.

"Come down here Shane, Nate and Jason's waiting."

"Just a sec." I stuffed everything so neatly, organized in my backpack and slipped on a pair of shoes. I scuttled down the stairs and attacked Jason while his back was turned.

"Shane, this use to be cute, but you got heavy overnight. Stop packing the pounds before we find ourselves in China." Jason shrugged me off his shoulders to fall on the ground. It was a good thing school was on, the bag cushioned my falling impact.

"So I need to know, why is Shane on the ground, and Jason tensed up. What happened while I was gone?" Nate stood by the entrance with hands on his hips

"Nothing." We both said in unison, nothing happened, right.

"Let's go, we're late as it is and it doesn't help when we're late to school on the first day." Nate bellowed, already gone out the door.

"What's riding your pants today. What's so different about today than it was any other year before that." Jason followed out. I grabbed a quick banana and told my mother farewell as I ran to catch up to them.

–

We arrived at school, caught up to everything that we may have missed before we had our year group orientation. We went through the basics, classes, teachers, what's new, what's out, two classrooms full of so so people.

"Excuse me. I need a volunteer who would like to escort our new students through our school programming."

"I'll do it," Mitchie, who was sitting next to me, raised her hand, being the good girl that she's always been. Now departed, leaving the seat vacant next to me, I laid me head down on my arms. I became lost and everything faded into a dull tone, but that was until I had my focus on the one person in the corner. Needless to say, it was Nate. Oh dear, I could never look at him the same way again. Now the way I see him now.

It's different. It's like the feeling you get when you switch girls into women within your sight, and they become interesting all of a sudden. When love is a concept that seems to be important. It could only happen at our age. With all the pressure and demand for a soul mate, people in my eyes can't be seen in true colors. But I've known Nate for a while so it's different. I've seen him in a light that only I can see, or can only be interpreted by me. That's how I see it. So, it can be seen that he's special to me. If something were to happen that made me change my view, I'd be lost forever. So this can't happen.

–

It only became a downfall as time ticked off the face of the present. I sat alone in the top Science class, because most of my friends were in middle class. It wasn't so bad, Barron was also in this class so at least I had someone to talk to. Only a few minutes in had Mitchie shown up in class, bringing with her a couple of people. It must have been some new students.

"Sir, we have some new people joining this class." She let them stand their ground up to the teacher before taking a seat in my row, Mitchie sat in front of me. There were three here, 2 guys and a girl. We talked for a bit just to introduce ourselves. From what I've heard, there was Jacob, a tanned, spiked up black hair and well muscled. He looked tough but he gave such a gentle soul. The girl was called Alyson, blonde and long haired like Mitchie, she was so full of life and yapped more than normal. But it was a good thing, she was pretty funny and made me smile a lot. And the next one was Ashton. He was a little pale and had long, shaggy hair with blonde highlights. He didn't talk much and wasn't very open, but his heart was in the right place so he didn't seem so bad.

"So Shane, don't mind me asking but you're not taken are you?" Alyson asked, she had a small smirk on her face as if there was an ulterior motive.

"Um, no, not really but I don't expect to be with someone for a while"

"Rebound?" Jacob asked, as if he was tuned in now.

"No, it's...complicated."

"How?" Ashton was next to ask.

"It's long and difficult in explanation and...confusing."

"Confusing?" They said together. Deja vu, because I felt this before. Too easy to recognize for me. They knew. It was the cliche that would have given it away. 'I'm confused.' Two words to tell too many tales.

"Look, it's just a personal thing. He'll be able to tell when he's ready." Mitchie stood up for me as she dragged Alyson from us. At least the speech center was out. It just left the three of us to talk. But wouldn't have I guessed that they wouldn't let this go.

"Shane, I know about personal issues and thing that you may be too afraid to tell. Just swear to me that you'll never make it too personal. You should let us know so we can help. I'm sure whatever it may be, it's not as bad as some other people." He placed a comforting arm around me and I just tilted my head down and nodded. It was all just a 'Yeah, yeah' attitude but I knew he was right. And I have passed that stage already. But I'm too afraid to take the second step.

"Thanks, I'll let you know. It's nice to know I have someone to turn to." I tried my best to smile, but at least my attempt was feasible. I looked into his brown orbs and saw something weird. Almost terrifying. It scared me but not in the frightening sense. Something more on topic. I tried to look away but it was almost magnetizing. No matter what happened, something seemed to attract my eyes onto his.

That was until we were told to look back and take notes on the board.

–

The day went long, and tiring. The sun heated intensely on the Summer day, I swear that if there was not a table with stains or puddles of sweat, you had air conditioning. It was so hot, the metal roofing filled the silence with expansion. You were sweating more when you had PE that day. I'm glad I didn't have it today. But it was worse when we sat outside. The ice cream instantly melted from the stick, making sticky hands and stains on white shirts.

By the time it was lunch, we sat in the west side, a grassy meadow behind the school. There was a large wooden picnic bench there where we all sat. Alyson found a couple of people she could relate to. She was in middle classes too besides science. Jacob and Ashton have joined our group. Ashton found a few people he could relate to and it seems as if he was enjoying himself. I sat next to Jacob and talked more with him. We had a lot in common when we talked. Nothing seemed to die out in our conversation. I felt more comfortable just talking to him. But including him, we also had massive talks among the table. Laughs and dirty talk, talking about how bad the school day was. It was halfway passed lunch when Nate and Jason finally came back.

"Where were you two just now?" I asked and met them halfway

"Jason got held back and he begged me to wait for him." He talked through his lunch.

"What did you do this time?"

"I was talking to Tess and we were apparently the loudest."

"Doesn't make sense to make me wait while Tess was there as well." He walked passed me and sat down in my seat.

"Hey I was sitting there." I complained to him.

"Okay fine, your majesty. Sir Bi-a-lot" Oh, he did not just imply what I thought he did. He took a stab at me. Sure it was meant for a joke but it still meant something to me. Of course taking in the fact that he doesn't know about my feelings.

"Nate, don't be mean. Be the bigger man." Mitchie continued to stand up. But as this was occurring, Tess made her way at our table. Being such the diva I make her out to be, something happened that I couldn't bare to face.

"I already am, ha ha," Nate just continued to poke fun.

"What's all this then?" Tess just broke in.

"Nate's making fun of Shane."

"Oh is this about..." she muttered some things in Nate's ear. He nodded. I could only tell what they were talking about. I became nervous. I just sat next to Jacob, trying to get away from all this drama. I was sweating in nervousness but I couldn't get this out of my head.

"Shane, was that what you were confused about?" He held me at either end of my shoulders in hopes that I wouldn't avoid the issue. I just felt tears glisten my eyes and nodded.

"Yes. The truth is that I'm bi." I broke out off his grip and stood my back to him. He came around to me and lifted my head up.

"Shane, I want you to know that there's nothing wrong with that. It's only natural to have felt that way. Don't feel so insecure. You're being paranoid about feeling disrespect. I'll be there for you." Just hearing those words made me smile again. But I phased him out when I saw Nate and Tess walk away. Together. Seeming to be really deep in conversation. I was stunned at what I could only imagine would have been my confession. Words that imply the message, yet presented badly. Oh no, I could only guess his reaction.

"She's gonna tell him." I whispered quietly. Jacob could hear this and could only snap me out of my state of shock.

I felt light headed, and numb. My head's spinning until all thought was turned off. He knew, and that's all that mattered.


End file.
